For quite some time now, there has been a general sentiment among the black community that there is a shortage of good, available, black men. This so-called shortage has supposedly been the blame for everything from the explosion in lesbianism, to women being a side chick, to women being a flat out hoe. I decided to dig deeper and see if this is true, or if this is a myth. Is there a shortage of good men?
What Is A “Good” Man?
If you were to ask 10 women, what makes a good man, you would probably get 10 different answers. Good looking. Good sex. Financially stable. Knows when to shut up. Sense of humor. Caring. The list could go on and on. The fact is, a good man is comprised of all of these attributes, and then some. However, the ultimate truth is that a good man to one woman may not be a good man to another woman, because of the intangibles like chemistry, and compatibility. However, there are some basic, undeniable attributes that make a good man. Honesty, Discipline, Integrity, Responsibility, Loyalty, and Vision are all characteristics of a good man. Dedication is another trait of a good man. So are women saying that there is a paucity of men with these traits? Let’s look further.
The Numbers
According to the United States Census bureau, there are approximately 316,128,839 people in America. Of that number, only 45,003,665, or 14.1%, are African American. Over half of that number, approximately 26 million, are women. A quarter of that number are under the age of 20. So that leaves a total of approximately 20 million African American women of suitable marrying age. As for the men, there are approximately 19 million African American men in the U.S. A quarter of them are under the age of 20. That leaves a little over 5 million men of marrying age, compared to 20 million women. Now, let’s look even deeper.
Out of that 5 million remaining men, nearly 1.2 million of them are incarcerated, which whittles the numbers down to 3.8 million. Of that 3.8 million, how many are married? Out of that number, how many are gay? Out of that number, how many are strung out on drugs or alcohol? Out of that number, how many are gainfully employed? Out of that number, how many have the majority of the attributes we mentioned above? If we were to go by the numbers, then yes, the statistics look bleak. However, life is not lived in stats; they only provide a barometer. What are your choices saying about you?
Self- Examination
A lot of the women saying there are no good men wouldn’t know what to do with a good man if one walked up to them and kissed them on the cheek. They seem to want Jeezy in a tuxedo. Other women have a check list so detailed, Jesus wouldn’t fit the bill. The majority of women fall somewhere in between. The reality is that your choices in men are a direct reflection of you. If you keep catching the same type of man, it’s because you’re using the same kind of bait. What are you using to attract potential suitors, besides your body? You can’t wear clothes with your whole body popping out, then expect a man to want you for your mind. Are you just looking for a man with money? What are you bringing to the table? A man that is “about something” wants a woman that is “about something.” Can you hold a conversation outside of what is trending on Facebook? A smart man likes a smart woman. What is your baggage like? Are you a dufflebag kind of woman, or do you carry a purse? There is no quicker way to run a good man off, than to treat him as if he did all the things to you that the last man did to you. These are all things to consider when you’re asking yourself, where are all the good men?
Conclusion
If we went by the numbers, there could be strong proof that there is a shortage of black men, period, not just good black men. However, there is still hope that your good man is out there waiting on you. He doesn’t necessarily have to be black. There are all types of men looking for a good woman. The key is to be the person you want to attract. Work on being the best you that you can be! Everything else in life will come, especially your good man. Is there a shortage of good men? Only if you think so.